"Love", or Something Like It

Genesis 1:27 (New International Version)

²⁷ So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

This is for every girl who writes about finding the "perfect guy". This seemingly elusive creature likes long walks, kissing you on your forehead and (gasp) cares about you! Well, that sounds simple enough, we normal guys may say. Where can we apply?

We wait in the foyer of the lonely hearts, checking our watch and wonder after seven hours why our names haven't been called for an interview. After twiddling our thumbs down to bare nubs, we sigh as guys looking like GQ incarnate continue to strut pridefully out the door, each making derogatory remarks about female anatomy. Surely a respectful man could never measure up to that. So woefully, each of us walk away, knowing that regardless of their prepubescent irreverence, GQ always wins.

Because if most of you were honest, your requirements for the "perfect man" have much more to do with aesthetics and much less to do with romance, or even love. Your facebook postings about moonlit walks and respect aside, it looks more like:

1. Has a six-pack
2. Is so so hot
   
3. Looks good in V-necks
4. 7-feet tall
5. Is Taylor Lautner
   
6. Has a six-pack
7. cocky
8. Has a six-pack
9. Listens to every band I like
10. Good kisser
    
11. Is nice to me
12. Has a six-pack
13. likes long walks
14. kisses me on the forehead
15. Has a six-pack
16. Has a six-pack
17. Has a four-pack
    
18. Loves God (optional)
19. Treats me with respect (if he feels like it; no biggie)
    

There we go. That's more like it. This is why the "perfect man" is so easy to find. He sleeps around. He doesn't pay child support. He hits you. He flirts with every girl he sees. He uses you. He degrades you. He won't go to church with you, but he has a six-pack and and a nice tan, so everything evens out.

Well, at least we meet two or three of those requirements (even more if you count the optional ones). Still, it's all or nothing in this "love" business, and if your abs don't rival The Situation, you're out of the running. Love, and the search for Mr. Right have been perverted into a glamorized Flava of Love. The guys you want hurt you and the ones who won't, you don't want them.

There are some of us who actually know how to love, but our physical imperfections prevent you from ever noticing. I own my imperfections. God made me this way. I'm not going to pretend my ears aren't big, or that I don't look like everyone's little brother. It's just how I was made, and when God sends me the woman of His choosing, she will understand that just as much as I.

P.S. The real "perfect man" for you is not a myth, ladies; your definition is, and your means of finding him is a joke.

P.P.S. For those women who actually waited on God's timing, I commend you!