The Silent Scream

Serene as Sunday, my cries to You break through the silent barrier as You demolish the icy walls of my heart.

The same God who created Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, predestining their purposes long before they breathed their first breaths, speaks to my soul. The tears I cry are not as much about regret for who I was as they are over who You are to me.

It's at this moment that I scream, at least I think I have, but it's one only we can hear. The screams are ones I want the world to hear. How is this possible? I do not wonder long, for to spend more time dwelling on how than relishing with joy and gratitude in my soul does You a disservice. It is a mystery that in my wickedness You would want to touch me with Your Holy right hand, but it's one I do not care to solve. I just enjoy, Lord.

How great it is to serve You, the one who knows more of the depravity of my nature than even I, and yet, You write peace on my heart!

Now that I know You, I am more responsible than ever to let others know who You are. Thank You for Your hope.

Faith Enough

"O Lord my God, I called to you for help
and you healed me." -Psalm 30:2

A few months ago, I learned that my Mema, 82, was experiencing renal failure (one kidney shut down, another was functioning at a low percentage of its capacity). Instantly, I started trying to compose myself for her funeral, a task in itself because I was in tears at the time. I had given up all hope and was merely biding the time before I had to say goodbye to my beloved grandmother. It's such a shame that as a church-goer for more than twenty years, I was the one who had no solution. Nonetheless, I prayed out of superstition, still unconvinced I held any weight over the outcome. I've prayed every night since, and stronger than ever since the Lord has taken hold of me.

Now, I'd like for us to board the Delorean for a moment and visit Thursday, July 9, 2009. For those of you who don't have a reminder on your monitor, that is today's date. I visited my Mema today, and she gave me the news that both kidneys are currently operating! What's more is that she actually attributed it to God. It opened up a small window for us to discuss faith, and though brief, I am most thankful that we were able to discuss the importance of faith. I heard optimism today like never before!

Praise God for His miracles! When you are backed into the proverbial corner, and the enemy is within arms length of your very being, don't forget He who is in control at all times. God doesn't get writer's block: He knows what to do with us now as much as He did at our beginning. Please keep my Mema in your prayers, and don't ever put your faith in a percentage, because I can promise you that God is operating beyond his infinite capacity.

Below are the lyrics to a song by Jars of Clay, entitled "Faith Enough". It is a song on my playlist at the bottom, and even though it clocks in at over five minutes, you won't regret giving it a listen:

The ice is thin enough for walkin'
The rope is worn enough to climb
My throat is dry enough for talkin'
The world is crumblin' but I know why
The world is crumblin' but I know why

The storm is wild enough for sailing
The bridge is weak enough to cross
This body frail enough for fighting
I'm home enough to know I'm lost
Home enough to know I'm lost

It's just enough to be strong
In the broken places, in the broken places
It's just enough to be strong
Should the world rely on faith tonight

The land unfit enough for planting
Barren enough to conceive
Poor enough to gain the treasure
Enough a cynic to believe
Enough a cynic to believe

Confused enough to know direction
The sun eclipsed enough to shine
Be still enough to finally tremble
And see enough to know I'm blind
And see enough to know I'm blind

Should the world rely on faith tonight